Paul Bulger
4/5
I considered giving Frightmare Farms only three stars, due to the lack of very many attractions and the relatively short length of each attraction, but the Barnyard Slaughter was so cleverly designed that it almost warrants a five star rating on its own.
I was so thoroughly impressed with Frightmare's Barnyard Slaughter attraction. It provides truly psychological thrills without actually threatening your personal safety. The actors they hire are allowed to chase you around and frighten you, but they're never allowed to touch you. The fact that they never touch you, and, deep down, in the back of your mind, you know that they are just actors and they're not actually going to harm you, just makes this frightening experience all the more impressive, because since they're restrained, this haunted experience derives its thrills through artistic creativity and the element of surprise. And when I say "the element of surprise," I'm not just talking about your basic jump scares (and sure, there's lots of those, too). Anybody can merely subject you to a prolonged series of jump scares, but attaining those truly unsettling, under your skin thrills is an art. As you're making your way through these haunted set pieces, you know your safety is never truly at risk, it doesn't matter, because the thrills that await you are so well crafted.
The set pieces are fantastically well designed, you never know what to expect around every corner. You're chased through an array of classical horror movie settings that include hillbilly murder families in decrepit motor homes, a carnage filled barnyard slaughterhouse, an abandoned hospital with deranged patients and even more deranged doctors, claustrophobic doorways that seemingly (and sometimes even literally) close in around you, tight turns that keep you guessing whether there's something waiting for you around the corner, or if there's something coming up behind you, and so much more.
It's such a joy as you wonder what you're going to see next while the actors chase you from set piece to set piece, until it's finally over.
The fear you experience comes from never knowing what's coming next, and that is what makes this memorable and thrilling, and they do it without ever actually making you question whether you should fear for your life, your family's life, or any of their well-being.
Now, with all of that unwavering positivity, a few of you may be wondering why I only gave this four stars, instead of five. Well, as joyous as the Barnyard Slaughter and Haunted Hayride are to experience, they are both a little on the short side. It takes maybe about seven minutes to get through the Barnyard and the Hayride only lasts about five.
I understand that I should be rating things by experience (and both are a blast), and not by length, quality over quantity but length is something that needs to be taken into consideration if you're on a budget and wondering if $15 is worth admission, or if you're traveling a long distance. For me, the money was well worth it since my wife's family only lives about five minutes away, and we just headed over while we were visiting. But if you're traveling much further than we were, then you might want to consider if there's anything of good quality closer to you.
Then there's also a lack of attractions, since all you've really got that's worthwhile is the Hayride and the Barnyard. To me, the Zombie Raid isn't worth the $25. It's way too short and not enough ammo for my taste, but you might have more fun with it than I did, everybody enjoys different things after all. So there's only about three brief things to do and very long lines to wait through (unless you get there early), which should definitely make you reconsider if you're traveling a long distance.
Overall though, I had a blast, and it's definitely worth checking out if you're in the area. My only wish is that there was more to do, and that the attractions were a little longer, considering they're so brief.
